All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
