Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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