I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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