does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
