If i come over, it means nothing
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
