you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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