Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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