He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We got so high we made milksteak
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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