Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
