dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
