i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
