Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i drank out of a bidet.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
