we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
