I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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