Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
