Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
