dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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