you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
