He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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