the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
