This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
