i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I would fuck him just for his dog
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
