She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just pynch a tree in the face
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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