google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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