yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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