just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
