there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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