Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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