looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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