She said her name was "party"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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