sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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