i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
