And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
