Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
