So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize