i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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