exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
