So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
