I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
