I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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