I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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