I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
