but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
