just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
