glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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