and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
