You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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