So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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