Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
