we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
