Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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