I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My vagina just recognized that song.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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