You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
