They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize