she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
