I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
