Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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