Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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