im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize