I wish i was in the wii world.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
