What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
