Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Acid is not a monday night drug
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
