One girl and one boy is just not enough.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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