Having a random hookup so left but love u
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize