I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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